CRIMES AND MISDEMEANORS

Woody Allen and Mia Farrow

CRIMES AND MISDEMEANORS (1989). Written and directed by Woody Allen.

"When I grew up in Brooklyn, nobody committed suicide. Everyone was too depressed."

Opthamologist Judah Rosenthal (Martin Landau of Mission: Impossible) has a wife, Miriam (Claire Bloom), and children, as well as a mistress, a stewardess named Delores (Anjelica Huston of Manhattan Murder Mystery). Delores is making noises that she wants to "have it out" with Miriam, and keeps pressuring Judah to leave his wife, which Judah will simply not do. Fearing that his life and reputation will be shattered, in desperation Judah turns to his much less respectable brother, Jack (Jerry Orbach), who suggests a certain final "solution"... As this plays out, we also meet documentary filmmaker Cliff Stern (Woody Allen), who has an unhappy marriage to un-supportive wife, Wendy (Joanna Gleason), and finds himself falling for producer Halley Reed (Mia Farrow), who is working with Cliff on a film about his brother-in-law, a borderline obnoxious TV personality named Lester (Alan Alda of Same Time, Next Year). Crimes and Misdemeanors is in some ways an odd and very Allen-like movie, with the two different story lines never quite merging, but the picture is still compelling, amusing, and ultimately horrifying. Its exploration of moral complexities is a little uneven because Judah's solution to the "problem" of his mistress is on a much darker level than Cliff's contemplation of an affair when it is clear that neither he nor his wife are in love with each other. Still, the picture features some wonderful performances (from virtually everyone, although Landau and Huston are cast stand-outs), Allen's typically trenchant dialogue and observations, and a depressing but sadly realistic wind up. Initially seen as a benevolent figure, it is clear that Judah is a selfish and self-justifying monster. There are no dramatic fireworks or revelations concerning his immoral actions, but the ending is nevertheless sickening. The theme of the film seems to be, as Judah states, "only in Hollywood are there happy endings."

Verdict: One of Allen's more memorable and entertaining pictures. ***.

CITY HALL

CITY HALL (1996). Director: Harold Becker.

When a cop and a lowlife kill each other in a shoot-out, a little boy is caught in the crossfire. Deputy Mayor Kevin Calhoun (John Cusack of Shadows and Fog) tries to find out why the lowlife, Tino Zapatti (Larry Romano), was out on the street when he should have been in jail. His uncle Paul (Anthony Franciosa of Wild is the Wind) is a big shot mobster, and friends with Brooklyn politico Frank Anselmo (Danny Aiello), whom he orders to frame the dead cop. Calhoun's investigation uncovers corruption that goes all the way up to a judge (Martin Landau of Mission: Impossible), who just happens to be a good friend of Mayor Pappas (Al Pacino), whom Calhoun idolizes. Now Calhoun has to figure out if the mayor is involved and how he will handle it if he is. City Hall has a workable premise, and the acting is fine, but Harold Becker's direction isn't exactly dynamic, and the movie just fails to grip the way it should. Bridget Fonda plays a lawyer who tries to help the cop's family and is fine, but the movie is practically stolen by Aiello as Anselmo.

Verdict: Tepid when it should sizzle. **1/2.

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE Season 3

Barbara Bain and Torin Thatcher

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE Season Three. 1968.

The Impossible Missions Force is back with the usual suspects for a third season of highly illegal action, intrigue and phoney accents [one size fits all]. This was a solid season with more than its share of above average and a few excellent episodes. Among the most memorable: "The Cardinal," in which the team has to switch a real cardinal for a communist impersonator; "The Elixir," in which a despotic woman (Ruth Roman) is undone by her own vanity; "The Diplomat," with Lee Grant and Fernando Lamas in a suspenseful tale of stolen missile plans and deadly poison; the very clever "The Cage," in which a political prisoner must be freed from a top security prison; "The System," with a casino dealer manipulated into squealing on his boss with violent results; and "Doomsday," in which the team must stop the sale of a hydrogen bomb to the bad guys. The cast is good, with Martin Landau taking top honors. Barbara Bain remains glacial, but Cinnamon does show some emotion in another excellent episode, "The Exchange," in  which she's actually caught during a mission and winds up in an iron curtain prison. There seem to be less episodes in which the bad guys instantly fall in love or lust with Cinnamon [surely some of them would prefer a less classy, overtly sexy 19-year-old?], and Bain continues to do fair-to-middling "character" impersonations, such as her "Anastasia" turn in "The Heir Apparent" with guest-star Torin Thatcher. Bain does an amusing imitation of Marlene Dietrich, bad singing and all, in "The Illusion." Robert Conrad of The Wild, Wild West shows up briefly in "The Contender."

Verdict: When this show cooks, it cooks. ***.

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE Season 1

The original cast minus Peter Lupus

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE Season 1.1966. CBS. 28 color episodes.

Daniel Briggs (Steven Hill) returns from somewhere [it is never revealed] to again head up a covert "Impossible Missions" task force that tackles dangerous undercover operations apparently assigned by the "secretary" [of state?] in the U.S. government, although why the CIA wouldn't handle these assignments is never made clear. Briggs has a large number of agents but he always seems to pick the same group: Cinnamon Carter (Barbara Bain), strongman Willy Armitage (Peter Lupus), electronics expert Barney Collier (Greg Morris), and master of disguise Rollin Hand ("guest star" Martin Landau). While Mission: Impossible was a bit more "serious" than, say, The Man from U.N.C.L.E., there were times when the show should have been called "Mission: Highly Improbable." Suspension of disbelief is required on the vast majority of episodes. A supposedly impregnable prison that has no security cameras? No one ever recognizes famous former model Cinnamon Carter or actor/celebrity Rollin Hand? And in one episode without any explanation a gangster is not only familiar with the Impossible Missions team, but knows Briggs is the head of it and where Briggs lives! And you have to wonder what is the point of those super-secret openings where Briggs gets general info about the mission when somewhere and somehow he'll have to get the details before he can assemble his team or come up with a plan. But what the hell, the fans of this very popular program didn't care as long as the show was entertaining, which it was. The pilot episode, with its cheap wobbling sets, seemed a little unreal, but it held the attention and that's what mattered.

Most of the first season episodes were "B+" in quality, and there were a few "A"s as well. "A Spool There Was" has Cinnamon and Rollin working alone in a hostile country to find a wire that has information about bacteriological warfare on it. The team pretends to have a machine that can perfectly duplicate diamonds in "The Diamond," which features a very suspenseful sequence concerning an exchange of gems. A fascinating fake train ride figures in "The Train," in which the team must eliminate a prime minister's dangerous successor. "The Traitor" concerns a U.S. defector with an important cryptic message. Other memorable episodes concerned a training center for foreign spies, a race to acquire Nazi gold, and the rescue of an imprisoned cardinal in a jail located across from a carnival. The actors are all competent, if unspectacular, with the exception of Martin Landau, who easily walks off with the acting honors.

In one episode Cinnamon gets the assignment info at the opening, because apparently it was decided that a difficult Steven Hill would have to be replaced, which he was in the second season. Lalo Schifrin's sexy and exciting theme music is just wonderful. NOTE: The remastered DVDs of this series looks stunning.

Verdict: Far-fetched but intriguing and entertaining suspense show. ***.

THE GAZEBO

THE GAZEBO (1959). Director: George Marshall.

"Can't you call Hitchcock again?"

"The guest room? You know how long it's been since I cleaned in there!" -- the heroine, upon learning a corpse is to be placed in a guest room.

TV writer Elliot Nash (Glenn Ford) decides to take the law into his own hands and take care of a blackmailer who threatens to send sexy old photos of his wife, Nell (Debbie Reynolds) -- just starting an important Broadway career -- to the scandal sheets. A new gazebo that the wife has just bought might come in handy as the blackmailer's resting place. Unfortunately, things don't go exactly as Elliot plans. [At one point he asks an unseen Alfred Hitchcock, for whom he's working on a script, for help! If only ..! ] Actually. this is a pleasant and reasonably entertaining black comedy with a few minor twists that only goes awry and becomes a bit labored in the final quarter. Ford is fine; Reynolds is perky and competent; Carl Reiner is okay as their friend, Harlow -- but Reiner's on-screen personality in his younger days was never exactly likable. Doro Merande is hilarious as the maid Matilda, who shouts at everyone. Martin Landau shows up late in the game as a hood. Ford and Reynolds appeared together the same year in the pretty awful It Started with a Kiss.

Verdict: Undeniably amusing but somehow unsatisfying. **1/2.