THE FIENDISH PLOT OF FU MANCHU

Peter Sellers and Helen Mirren

THE FIENDISH PLOT OF DR. FU MANCHU (1980). Director: Piers Haggard.

On Dr. Fu Manchu's (Peter Sellers) 168th birthday, his life-sustaining elixir vitae is spilled, and he orders his loyal men to run about stealing the necessary ingredients. Naturally this alerts his longtime adversary, Nayland Smith (also played by Peter Sellers), who has become a little strange after being tortured by the Si-Fan, the group of which Fu is leader. Suspecting that the queen may be a target, Smith has her impersonated by policewoman Alice Rage (Helen Mirren), who is kidnapped by Fu -- and falls in love with him! If you're looking for an inventive laugh riot, look elsewhere, for Fiendish Plot is a mediocre film despite the genius of Peter Sellers, the film's chief saving grace. Helen Mirren [Phil Spector] shows why she became so famous with her excellent portrayal of the kind of schizoid Alice, and David Tomlinson scores as Sir Roger Avery with Scotland Yard. Sid Ceasar does what he can as an FBI agent who, unfortunately, keeps referring to Chinese people as "chinks" throughout the movie, another black mark against the production. Clement Harari as dietitian Dr. Wretch and John Le Mesurier as Smith's valet Perkins are more suitably cast. Fiendish Plot does have a small share of chuckles, and one laugh-out-loud moment involving a mechanical spider. but it lacks pacing and suspense, which is required even for a parody. Fu also employs a big plant that emits a sleeping gas, while Smith's country cottage contains a balloon through which he and his associates fly off in the cottage to the Himalayas to confront Fu, who becomes a rock star with a "Rock a Fu" production number. This was executive produced by Hugh Hefner when Playboy wanted to get into the movie game, which everyone probably regretted. (Hefner was also exec. producer for Kim Novak's TV vehicle The Third Girl from the Left.)  Piers Haggard also directed one of my favorite movies, A Summer Story, which is about a zillion times better than this; genre movies were not his forte. Sadly, this was Peter Sellers' last movie.

Verdict: Not Fu's -- or Sellers'-- finest hour. **

A SUMMER STORY

A SUMMER STORY (1988). Director: Piers Haggard.

Just before the war two young men are hiking in the area of Devon and Somerset (where A Summer Story was filmed), when the nicer of the two, Frank Ashton (James Wilby), badly sprains his ankle. The two men find a farm that lets rooms, but when his friend gets bored and leaves, Frank stays on and on and on all summer -- drifting into an intense love affair with orphaned Megan (Imogene Stubbs) and promising her his undying devotion and indeed the world. Unfortunately, things don't quite work out that way in this deeply affecting, beautifully done picture that delineates the tragic aspects of romance. A Summer Story also shows in unflinching terms that even supposedly "nice" people can be unspeakably weak and cruel. This is based on the story "The Apple Tree" by John Galsworthy and has been very well dramatized by Penelope Mortimer. Georges Delerue has crafted a memorable score and the countryside is expertly photographed by Kenneth McMillan. Wilby, Stubbs, Jerome Flynn as Joe (who also loves Megan), Susannah York, and the rest of the cast are excellent. Director Haggard, who has done mostly television work, also directed the wretched Blood on Satan's Claw, but is clearly much more inspired by the material this time around. A Summer Story is a decided tearjerker but by no means is it a soap opera. Beautifully done on all levels.

Verdict: This has been known to make grown men blubber. ****.

THE BLOOD ON SATAN'S CLAW

THE BLOOD ON SATAN'S CLAW (1971). Director: Piers Haggard.

After the claw of an inhuman creature is ploughed up in a field, the teens of a 17th century British village engage in rapes, orgies, murders and the like, while innocent women are nearly drowned as witches. Back in the seventies, the sex, violence and nudity may have made this seem more interesting, but today it's a big bore, very slow-moving, and directed with absolutely no panache by Piers Haggard. Linda Hayden plays Angel, the young beauty around whom most of the trouble is centered. Patrick Wymark is the Judge who decides to put an end to all the nonsense. Very poor horror film that even genre fans will find a snooze. Marc Wilkinson's opening theme music is quirkily memorable, however. Haggard also directed the far superior A Summer Story in 1988, for which he was much more suited.

Verdict: Watch at your own risk. *.