LOOKER

Albert Finney and Susan Dey

LOOKER (1981). Written and directed by Michael Crichton.

Cosmetic surgeon Larry Roberts (Albert Finney) does work on several beautiful women who obsess over certain "imperfections." You would think that he would wonder where these women got the exact-to-the-centimeter measurements of their alleged flaws, but Roberts only worries about it after they start being murdered. The murders are traced back to a sinister TV test group, Digital Matrix -- although it is never really explained why the women are murdered -- who plan to use computer-generated images to replace real people not just in commercials but in political ads -- or something like that. They have also invented a gun that freezes people in their tracks so to them it appears as if time has passed by without their being aware of it. While the technological stuff is not without interest  -- although by now it's rather dated -- Looker is still an astonishingly dull movie despite all the running around. There's one decent, fairly suspenseful scene in which Larry and his surviving patient, Cindy (Susan Dey), break into a lab, but the chase sequences which make up most of the movie aren't that exciting and Finney [Shoot the Moon] looks ridiculous playing action hero, especially when he dresses up like a cop  -- he's wasted in the movie anyway. Dey is appealing enough, and James Coburn and Leigh Taylor-Long are appropriately reptilian as the couple who run Digital Matrix, but -- typical for Crichton -- they aren't given actual characters to play. Darryl Hickman [The Tingler] plays Larry's associate, Jim, and looks good with a beard. Michael Crichton's attempt to have himself another hit like Westworld didn't work this time. Some of the pretty women who play Larry's patients can't act to save their lives -- literally.

Verdict: Not worth a "look." *1/2.

IN LIKE FLINT

James Coburn, Thomas Hasson, Lee J. Cobb

IN LIKE FLINT (1967). Director: Gordon Douglas.

"By this time tomorrow, women will be ruling the world."

"Brain and hair-washing at the same time!"

"An actor as President?"

In this sequel to Our Man Flint, super-adventurer Derek Flint (James Coburn) is contacted by Lloyd Cramden (Lee J. Cobb) of Z.O.W.I. E. when he realizes that he was blanked out for three minutes during a golf game with President Trent (Andrew Duggan). During that time Trent was replaced by a double, a plot engineered by a group of women who plan to sabotage missiles -- Project Damocles -- to gain their ends. The main representative of this women's group is Lisa Norton (Jean Hale), who runs a cosmetic outfit called Fabulous Face that has its headquarters in the Virgin Islands, adjacent to the missile base. Unfortunately for the ladies, General Carter (Steve Ihnat), is only pretending to be an ally and turns on them, forcing the women to engage in Operation Smooch ... In Like Flint is sillier than the worst episode of The Man from U.N.C.L.E., slow-paced, unfunny for the most part, and with a climax that seems to go on for four hours. Coburn isn't bad in the part, although both Duggan and Cobb make more of an impression. Anna Lee is fine as Elisabeth, one of the older women in the group, but Jean Hale, while very pretty, isn't much of an actress. Searching for two missing lady cosmonauts, Flint winds up in Moscow, where he gets a standing ovation after dancing in a ballet! Yvonne Craig of Batman fame plays a Russian gal who offers Flint a doped cigarette. That same year saw the release of The Thousand Eyes of Sumuru, which was also about a group of women plotters and which was even worse than In Like Flint. The ladies in Flint never seem very menacing, probably due to typical sixties sexism.

Verdict: This could have killed the parody spy genre altogether. **.

THE LAST OF THE MOBILE HOT SHOTS

Robert Hooks and Lynn Redgrave

THE LAST OF THE MOBILE HOT SHOTS (1970). Director: Sidney Lumet.

"Go home with you? -- but I don't even know you." -- Myrtle

Myrtle Kane (Lynn Redgrave), who once belonged to a group called the "Mobile Hot Shots," gets a stranger, Jeb Thornton (James Coburn), to pretend he's engaged to her so they can win some prizes on a local game show. Unfortunately, the host also wants to marry them on the program. Jeb takes Myrtle back to his dilapidated plantation, Waverly, where he lives with his black half-brother, "Chicken" (Robert Hooks). The dying Jeb agreed that Chicken would have the plantation after his death if he helped him work it, and signed a paper to that effect, but now he sends Myrtle out to get back the paper by any means possible. But Chicken knows something that may make all of Jeb's manipulations unnecessary. Loosely based on Tennessee Williams' play "The Seven Descents of Myrtle," it's a wonder why anyone thought Mobile Hot Shots would make a good movie. Everyone is miscast, and Lumet is certainly the wrong director. The movie can't seem to make up its mind if it's a comedy or not -- there are a couple of chuckles, but that's it, and the final revelation is a pip  -- but its biggest failing is that with all that's going on it's still a bore [even a climactic flood doesn't help much]. Redgrave seems to be channeling Geraldine Page in Sweet Bird of Youth (although her character is completely different), but she makes one of the the least convincing Williams' heroines ever. Coburn makes some effort but gets nowhere, and Hooks comes off best, but in this movie that's not saying much. Still it's hard to play Williams just right, and mediocre Williams is even harder. Gore Vidal's screenplay at one point seems to hint at homosexual incest, but as it comes out of nowhere and is unconvincing anyway, it was probably just to set up a quick, dumb gag late in the movie. The premise of the picture is intriguing but the development is just dismal. With Hooks playing a character who denies his being black, one would have to say Hot Shots is horribly dated as well. [If one wonders why anyone would want to own a property like Waverly in the first place, all I can say is real estate!]

Verdict: This should just be washed away with the flood. *1/2.

RICHARD DIAMOND, PRIVATE DETECTIVE Season 4

Diamond (David Janssen) takes a call on his car phone

RICHARD DIAMOND, PRIVATE DETECTIVE Season 4. 1960.

In its fourth and final season, Richard Diamond had only ten episodes. The show remained watchable, bolstered by David Janssen's smooth playing and some decent scripts. Among the more notable: Diamond is hired to find a missing woman even though everyone he talks to denies her very existence in "Double Trouble." Diamond investigates whether or not "The Lovely Fraud" is genuinely crippled or faking it for the money. And Rick is hired to find a poodle whose pretty owner has been murdered in "Accent on Murder." Guest-stars on the brief fourth season include Rita Moreno, James Coburn, Lyle Talbot and Joanna Barnes. Although a few episodes can be found on DVD or on youtube, or in private editions collected from broadcast, Richard Diamond is essentially a forgotten series but for TV detective buffs. The show was by no means a failure, however, but Janssen would have to wait for the super-hit The Fugitive to become a household name.

Verdict: For hardcore private eye fans. **1/2. 

THE LAST OF SHEILA

THE LAST OF SHEILA (1973). Director: Herbert Ross. Screenplay by Anthony Perkins and Stephen Sondheim.

Producer Clinton Green (James Coburn) gathers together a group of people on his yacht for a party of games and murder, as he believes one member of the collection was responsible for the death of his wife, Sheila, in a hit and run. The suspects include writer Tom (Richard Benjamin) and his wife, Lee (Joan Hackett); director Philip (James Mason); actresses Christine (Dyan Cannon) and Alice (Raquel Welch); and Anthony (Ian McShane) to round out the group. These self-absorbed show biz folk are given cards assigning them a particular "vice" as well as clues telling them where to look for more information in the mystery game Clinton insists they all play. But then someone gets murdered for real ... The movie holds the attention and the actors are all good, with James Mason taking top honors, but screenwriters Perkins and Sondheim don't provide fully dimensional characters and are too clever for their own good. As one character says: it "doesn't quite add up -- it leaves you with too many questions." The sexual ambiguity of more than one character only adds to a generally dated quality, with sexual orientations seemingly [and improbably] changing at the drop of a hat [not surprising, considering Tony Perkins worked on the script!]. There's some amusing dialogue and interesting observations at times.

Verdict: Reasonably entertaining, but in the end it adds up to very little. **1/2.