THE THIRD GIRL FROM THE LEFT

Kim Novak

THE THIRD GIRL FROM THE LEFT (1973 telefilm). Director: Peter Medak.

"If he cried for anyone, it was himself" -- Gloria

"Of course. Who else does anyone cry for?" -- Zimmy.

Gloria (Kim Novak) at 36 is known as the last of the New York City showgirls (Novak was actually forty). For thirteen years she has been involved with a frankly terrible but popular singer named Joey Jordan (Tony Curtis). Their marriage keeps being "postponed" for one reason or another. Even though Gloria is easily the most beautiful of the "girls," for the first time in her career she is told to stand in the back row instead of in front. She has an affair with a 24-year-old delivery boy named David (Michael Brandon of Four Flies on Grey Velvet), then Joey comes back from Las Vegas where he's been poking Melanie (Barbi Benton) ... The material was there for a decent picture, but The Third Girl from the Left doesn't quite work. Novak isn't terrible, but she's miscast in this, and while Curtis is more appropriate as a Las Vegas reptile, his character is also a cliche. Dory Previn, who wrote the script, was responsible for a number of sensitive songs with excellent music and lyrics on her albums -- although the theme song for this picture is not memorable --  but aside from some good dialogue now and then, this never really goes below the surface. The relationship between Gloria and David is never believable, with the latter coming off like some creepy witless stalker. The best impression is made by George Furth as Joey's manager, Zimmy. When Zimmy learns that the not-quite-bright Gloria was trying to commit suicide, he says "With an electric stove?" That old vulgarian Hugh Hefner was the executive producer of this, which is probably how his squeeze Barbi Benton wound up in the movie -- she's actually not bad although Kate Hepburn had nothing to worry about. Dory Previn was dumped by her husband Andre for the undernourished Mia Farrow, and wrote several songs about it. Judging from her lyrics, one would have hoped for a much better picture. Peter Medak also directed The Ruling Class and By the Pricking of My Thumbs.

Verdict: A nice idea that goes nowhere. **.

FOUR FLIES ON GREY VELVET

FOUR FLIES ON GREY VELVET (1972). Written and directed by Dario Argento. 

Roberto Tobias (Michael Brandon), a rock musician in Italy, accidentally kills someone in self-defense, but the dope doesn't go to the police, opening himself up to blackmail and worse. We learn fairly early that someone is out to get Tobias, by framing him and making his life miserable. A series of murders occur when others learn who the person is behind the plot, or if they come too close to learning the truth. An early film by Italian horror specialist Argento, Four Flies holds the attention but is never quite satisfying. Mimsy Farmer plays Tobias' wife. Calisto Calisti plays Carlo, a gay private eye that Tobias hires to find out who's behind his torment. "What do you think -- that this fag is going to jump on a chair when he sees a mouse?" Carlo asks Tobias, although the point would have been better served had Carlo not been so stereotypical. There is some moderate inventiveness -- and a certain hoariness -- to the murder scenes. The title refers to the image seen on a murder victim's retina after death, supposedly captured by a photographic device. There's a lot of foreshadowing throughout the movie of the film's climactic and gruesome death. There's a certain over-the-top ugliness to the theme and tone of the movie, which is true of many of Argento's productions. After an career in the U.S. in the sixties, Farmer has worked mostly in Italy, with many more roles after Four Flies. This was Brandon's fourth film; he has exclusively appeared on television ever since. 

Verdict: Not Argento's best but probably not his worst. **1/2.