THINGS I'VE SAID, BUT PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAVE Bruce Dern

THINGS I'VE SAID, BUT PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAVE: An Unrepentant Memoir. Bruce Dern with Christopher Fryer and Robert Crane. John Wiley and Sons; 2007.

Bruce Dern has had a long career as a working actor, mostly in films, with occasional television work, and sometimes he's given the lead role, as in Silent Running. He was married to actress Diane Ladd (who directed him in a movie where she apparently hurled out her bitterness over a bad marriage which he admits was all his fault) and is the father of Laura Dern. He apparently had a weird relationship with his wealthy family. The films Dern covers the most include John Frankenheimer's Black Sunday, Coming Home (in which he was especially excellent), The King of Marvin Gardens, The Great Gatsby (with Robert Redford), Alfred Hitchcock's Family Plot, and Monster, but he doesn't neglect more embarrassing assignments such as The Incredible Two-Headed Transplant, more power to him. I also admire him for coming out in support of Elia Kazan, because "three quarters of the room did not stand up" when the director received an honorary Oscar. Appalled by this, Dern asks "What were Kazan's choices?" (One can only imagine what Kazan's detractors would have done were they in the same situation). Of course, Dern can be as guilty of egomania and diva behavior as anyone. In an unintentionally comical anecdote Dern writes how he and very beautiful co-star Maud Adams supposedly had to fight to keep their hands off of each other off-set during filming of the erotic film Tattoo, but one senses Adams wasn't really that interested in the first place. While Dern does talk about the changes in the movie business, different approaches to acting, and other things of interest, the book isn't well-edited, and even two other writers can't make Things I've Said especially coherent. There is no linear, chronological progression; Dern bounces all over the lot. Long, long conversations from decades in the past are reproduced verbatim (either Dern has an encyclopedic memory or he is merely capturing the gist of these conversations -- even so), and some of his memories seem a little suspicious. (I simply can't believe some of the comments he attributes to Alfred Hitchcock.)  Most criminally, Dern mentions Bette Davis with admiration more than once, but says virtually nothing about Hush ... Hush, Sweet Charlotte, or about Joan Crawford's participation before she walked off the movie. Inquiring minds want to know! Dern can be forgiven his "name-dropping," however, because these were all people that he knew and worked with.

Verdict: Good actor, mediocre book. **1/2.

THE HOLLYWOOD BOOK OF BREAKUPS

THE HOLLYWOOD BOOK OF BREAKUPS. James Robert Parish. John Wiley and Sons; 2006.

This absorbing tome looks into the lives, loves and break-ups of both old and new, very familiar names in movies and on television: Woody vs. Mia; Aniston vs. Pitt; DeMaggio vs. Monroe; Cruise vs. Kidman; Hughes vs Peters; Eastwood vs Locke; and so on, going all the way back to the days of Mary Pickford and Douglas Fairbanks Sr., while stopping to revisit the likes of Madonna vs. Sean Penn and Sonny vs. Cher along the way. There are also chapters on Petter [sic] Lindstrom's bitter split with Ingrid Bergman over lover and film director, Roberto Rosellini; Ted Danson's bizarrely appearing in blackface during his involvement with Whoopi Goldberg; the bad marriage of Cary Grant and Barbara Hutton; and dozens more. Throughout its pages, the book documents one basic Hollywood truism: that relationships in La La Land are often based more on career advancement than "love." It is amusing how people who break up relationships via affairs justify their infidelity. Anne Heche, who discarded Ellen DeGeneres as she had Steve Martin before her, seemed to blame DeGeneres for her affair because Ellen didn't trust her, but considering that Heche had an affair with a cameraman while everyone was filming a documentary about Ellen, it seems DeGeneres' fears were thoroughly justified!

Verdict: Excellent look at the bizarre nature of Hollywood relationships and the disasters they often incur. ***1/2.

FIASCO: A HISTORY OF HOLLYWOOD'S ICONIC FLOPS

FIASCO: A History of Hollywood's Iconic Flops. James Robert Parish. Wiley; 2006.

This fascinating book looks at the back stories of some of Hollywood's most infamous flops, movies which were not only artistic disasters but in general lost literally millions of dollars for their respective studios. The movies covered include Cleopatra with Liz Taylor and Richard Burton; Ishtar and Town and Country, both of which starred Warren Beatty; Kevin Costner's two mega-bombs, Waterworld and The Postman; Showgirls; Cutthroat Island; and others. Parish explains in engaging and authoritative fashion why some of these movies were disasters-in-the-making, with bad decisions made by ego-driven movie executives who wanted to be the instigator of the Next Big Blockbuster but wound up with egg on their faces, dismal reviews and returns, and careers in tatters. What's amazing is how the green light was often given to projects in spite of the fact that similar films were turkeys of major proportions. Given the out-of-control egomania of both stars, directors, and executives, the vast number of people who tinker with each screenplay, the very bad casting decisions, and the who-gives-a-shit-let's-just-spend-and-spend attitude, it's a wonder that anything decent ever gets made. Part of the problem is the unbelievable salary demands of today's movie stars, who jack up the budget of every film to incredible proportions, sometimes sinking a property right from the start.

Verdict: Compulsory reading for every film enthusiast who wants to know more about the inner workings of Hollywood. ****.