OPERATION BIKINI

OPERATION BIKINI (1963). Director: Anthony Carras.

During the days of WW2 a submarine commanded by Captain Carey (Scott Brady) takes on a host of Marine underwater demolition experts, which in turn is led by Lt. Morgan Hayes (Tab Hunter). The sub is to take this gang to the Bikini atoll, where they are to destroy a submarine sunk by the Japanese. It seems this sub has special radar equipment on it that the allies don't want the Japs to get their hands on. Others on the demolition team include Joseph (Frankie Avalon), Floyd (Gary Crosby), Ed (Jim Backus), and William (Jody McCrea). Michael Dante plays Carey's second-in-command. On Bikini, Hayes and his band team up with certain friendly islanders, including Reiko (Eva Six), who has a brief dalliance with Hayes. 

Eva Six and Tab Hunter

American-International Pictures brought together some Beach Party players such as Avalon and McCrea, dropped in Tab Hunter, and "introduced" Hungarian actress Eva Six, who only made two more movies besides this one. Operation Bikini is pretty cheap and largely dull, although there are occasional spurts of action. Avalon, Hunter and the others turn in decent enough performances. Avalon even sings a song during a dream sequence, and proves not to be a bad singer at all. 

Tab Hunter

In the dream sequence Frankie is torn between his "girl back home," played by Nancy Dusina, and a sexy temptress, played by Judy Lewis. Lewis was the daughter of Loretta Young and Clark Gable. She had 28 credits, including Perry Mason, 77 Sunset Strip and The Secret Storm. The best thing about Operation Bikini is that unlike such films as Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea it features a realistic sub and gets across just what it's like to be in a cramped, uncomfortable submarine. 

Verdict: Ultimately, this is pretty much a waste of time. *1/2. 

GIRL HAPPY

Shelley Fabares and Elvis Presley

GIRL HAPPY (1965). Director: Boris Sagal.

Club owner Big Frank (Harold J. Stone) is afraid of what might happen if his 21-year-old daughter, Valerie (Shelley Fabares), goes to Fort Lauderdale for vacation, so he hires singer Rusty Wells (Elvis Presley) to be her secret chaperone. In the meantime, Rusty does his best to romance the more voluptuous Deena (Mary Ann Mobley), but his burgeoning feelings for Valerie get in the way. Girl Happy seems inspired by Where the Boys Are, made five years earlier, which had similar hijinks occurring in Fort Lauderdale. Cliche follows cliche as Elvis and his combo -- Joby Baker [Looking for Love], Gary Crosby [Mardi Gras], and Jimmy Hawkins -- warble some pleasant if minor songs, the snappiest of which is "Fort Lauderdale Chamber of Commerce." Nita Talbot shows up briefly as a sexy dancer, Jackie Coogan is a cop, and Fabrizio Mioni romances both Valerie and Deena as an Italian exchange student. This is another in a long line of crappy Elvis Presley musicals that are often indistinguishable from one another. Presley performs nicely, but his character is rather negative. At first thinking that Valerie is unattractive, he immediately pronounces her a "loser." Fabares has a nice enough figure, but she was clearly told: "shoulders back, chest thrust forward." Peter Brooks [The Girls on the Beach] offers some fun as the intellectual Brentwood Von Durgenfeld, who in movies like this only elicits scorn, especially regarding his preference for brains over beauty. His scene with Nita Talbot provides the movie's only laugh, however.

Verdict: Elvis schlock with a couple of decent tunes. *1/2.

MARDI GRAS

Cadets? -- Dick Sargent, Tommy Sands, and Pat Boone

MARDI GRAS (1958). Director: Edmund Goulding.

A bunch of twenty-something cadets raffle off a date with new French-Hollywood movie star Michelle Marton (Christine Carere). Everyone is dismayed when the winning ticket goes to the most studious and disinterested among them, Paul (Pat Boone). In New Orleans Paul actually spends a very pleasant day with Michelle, who has switched places with her studio helpmate Eadie (Sheree North); he has no idea the young lady is the movie star he is supposed to be squiring. This leads to mostly unamusing complications. Mardi Gras is the most undistinguished of musicals; it has one decent song, "I'll Remember Tonight," and the rest are atrocious. Boone [Journey to the Center of the Earth] isn't bad; Carere is, well, pretty and little else; Gary Crosby essentially plays the same character he plays in every movie he did; Tommy Sands over-sings everything; and Dick Sargent is another over-aged cadet. Sheree North and Fred Clark add little to the tedious proceedings, although there are a couple of funny lines, as well as forgettable  cameos by Robert Wagner and Jeffrey Hunter. This movie in no way captures the excitement of Mardi Gras even though there is some grainy stock footage of it. Hard to believe this treacle was directed by Edmund Goulding.

Verdict: Watch Goulding's The Old Maid instead. *1/2.

TWO TICKETS TO PARIS

Jeri Lynn Frazer and Joey Dee

TWO TICKETS TO PARIS (1962). Director: Greg Garrison.

"I'll take two containers of Troy Donahue and a six pack of Rock Hudson." -- Aggie

Joey (Joey Dee, playing himself) is engaged to Piper (Jeri Lynn Frazer) but the wedding has to be postponed because he gets a gig on a cruise ship sailing for Paris. Piper's mother insist they take a chaperon along, her Aunt Aggie (Kay Medford). But things get complicated when a French dancer named Coco (Lisa James), makes a play for Joey to make her philandering boyfriend, Tony (Richard Dickens), jealous. Jeri decides to get even by coming on to singer Gary (Gary Crosby, not playing himself), who sings "Lady Want to Do That Twist." Medford is terrible as she croaks out "Instant Men," although Frazer makes a better impression delivering "Teenage Vamp" and "Baby, Won't You Please Come Home." Thick-lipped and somewhat odd-looking, Dee is okay and wiggles a couple of numbers. Frazer, a cute little monkey-face, grows on you. Medford [Butterfield 8] has the same rather off-putting personality as ever and the ever-irritating Charles Nelson Reilly embarrasses himself playing a "flaming" wedding planner. Dee appeared in only one other movie. Frazer was introduced in this picture but had faded out by 1968 with only a few credits -- she would have been perfect for a sitcom.

Verdict: Strange picture with strange leads. **.

PERRY MASON SEASON 8

Raymond Burr

PERRY MASON Season 8. 1965.

Perry (Raymond Burr) and the gang are back for another season of this highly popular courtroom drama -- one of the best seasons in the series' long history. Phyllis Hill and Robert Brown give outstanding performances in "The Case of the Sleepy Slayer," a clever story in which a woman must live with her hated uncle. "Wooden Nickles" with Will Kuluva features skulduggery over a valuable confederate coin. "Ruinous Road" examines the hoopla over tearing a house down to build a needed thoroughfare. Joyce Meadows [Brain from Planet Arous] and Gary Crosby appear in "Frustrated Folksinger," about a show biz dilettante accused of murdering an exploitative agent. "Thermal Thief," in which a woman tries to honor her late husband despite complications, features fine performances from Joyce Van Patten and Barry Sullivan [Queen Bee]. Jeanne Bal scores as a viciously scheming woman in "Tell Tale Tap." Minerva Urecal [Who's Guilty?] shows up in "Lover's Gamble" about a doctor with romantic issues. "Murderous Mermaid" has an Esther Williams-type dealing with a show biz hopeful and a strange publicity plot. In "Careless Kitten," in which there is no trial or even a courtroom sequence, Perry investigates whether or not a man missing for ten years is still alive, and confronts suspects in a living room; Percy Helton and an excellent Louise Latham [Marnie] are in the cast. In the season's most bizarre moment, Perry faces down a big ape in "Grinning Gorilla" with Victor Buono [Hush ... Hush, Sweet Charlotte] and Lurene Tuttle [The Manitou]. And there were many other memorable episodes.

Verdict: Still one of the most enjoyable and well-acted programs ever made. ***1/2.

GOING MY OWN WAY: GARY CROSBY AND ROSS FIRESTONE

GOING MY OWN WAY Gary Crosby and Ross Firestone. Doubleday; 1983.

If you ever wanted to learn what it's like growing up in the shadow of a famous father, Going My Own Way provides a very raw and sharply observed [if highly personal] answer. Gary Crosby [A Private's Affair], who had his own comparatively minor career in show biz that was curtailed and nearly derailed by alcoholism, was the first of four sons born to crooner and movie star Bing Crosby with his first wife, Dixie Lee. [Bing had other children with his second wife, Kathryn Grant.] In this absorbing book, which isn't just a "daddy dearest," Gary writes that the home life for him and his three younger brothers wasn't the idyllic picture that his father and alcoholic mother presented to the public. Today Bing might probably be considered a kind of child abuser, although corporal punishment was fairly standard for the day. Much of the book, however fascinating, must be taken with a grain of salt, as Gary -- with the help of Ross Firestone, an excellent writer -- of course tells a very subjective story, strictly his side of things, relating how he felt when he was a child and younger man. Was Bing simply a poor father who saved his good will and pleasant nature for his fans and co-workers, or was Gary an utterly impossible child who needed more discipline than most? You can decide for yourself. The late Gary Crosby [he died of cancer at 62] spares us nothing, from how he made out with an [unknown to him] drag queen whom he later beat up, and also beat his black girlfriend up while under the influence of alcohol. Whatever you think of the book, it isn't easy being the child of a celebrity, especially one who's so busy, so popular, and so distant. Two of Gary's younger brothers committed suicide. While Mommie Dearest was mostly made-up crap, Going My Own Way has the ring of truth, albeit it's understandably one-sided. One of the first tell-all Hollywood memoirs.

Verdict: Absorbing, very well-written, and in some ways horrifying. ***1/2.