JUPITER'S DARLING

George Sanders and Esther Williams -- in the same movie!

JUPITER'S DARLING (1955). Director: George Sidney.

"If Hannibal attacks and Rome is destroyed, we can be buried together as man and wife." -- Fabius.

In 216 B.C. Hannibal (Howard Keel of Seven Brides for Seven Brothers) is marching toward Rome with hundreds of men and sixty elephants to sack the city. Inside the city, the dictator Fabius (George Sanders) tries his best to marry his recalcitrant fiancee Amytis (Esther Williams) while hoping he can hold the barbarians at bay. Amytis and her maid, Meta (Marge Champion), sneak off to grab a peek at the elephants -- and handsome Hannibal -- and before you know it they are captured by Hannibal's men. Now it's a question if Hannibal will murder Amytis as a spy or fall in love with her.

Howard Keel as the lusty Hannibal

Jupiter's Darling is a real oddity. First we have Esther Williams and George Sanders in the same movie, although it must be said that they play perfectly well together, although it's no question that despite Williams adroitness in this kind of stuff Sanders is the better actor. Then we have to take into consideration that this is, after all, an Esther Williams Musical and she does manage to get in a fair amount of swimming. Jupiter's Darling is also a kind of war movie (although the climactic battle never quite takes place) as well as a romance and action story. Everything but the kitchen sink. It would be all too easy to laugh at the picture if we were meant to take it seriously, but we're obviously not, and although the picture was a financial bomb for MGM -- it probably cost a fortune to make --  it is also quite entertaining and quite successful on several levels.

The magnificence of Rome

First there is the look of the picture. The cinematography by Paul Vogel and Charles Rosher is outstanding and the movie -- filmed in CinemaScope and Eastman color -- is great to look at throughout, thanks also to art direction by Cedric Gibbons [Tarzan and His Mate] and Urie McCleary. There is especially stunning underwater photography, and the underwater sequences are in every way splendid. Esther dances with some statues that come to life, and later is chased by three of Hannibal's men in an exciting and protracted sequence wherein you wonder when the participants managed to get some oxygen. The songs by Harold Adamson [Change of Heart] and Burton Lane are more than pleasant, with Keel warbling "The Road to Rome," "I Never Trust a Woman," and "Don't Let This Night Get Away." The soldiers come out with "Hannibal, Oh Hannibal," on more than one occasion. Although a dubbed Williams gets to sing "I Had a Dream", the duet she later sings with an un-dubbed Sanders, as well as a dance number for Marge and Gower Champion (playing another slave/soldier) was criminally cut, although it can be seen on the DVD.

Marge and Gower Champion dance with Hannibal's elephants

Speaking of the dancing, although his number about how he loves being a slave is in questionable taste, Gower delivers some fancy footwork in this sequence. Gower and his wife Marge really show off in a subsequent number in which they dance with a group of well-trained and talented elephants. (For the end of the film, the elephants were dyed different colors!) Hermes Pan did the lively choreography for the film. Keel, Williams, and especially Sanders, all offer good performances (albeit nothing Oscar-worthy), and they get excellent support from Norma Varden as Fabius' disapproving mother, Richard Hadyn as an historian, and Douglass Dumbrille as one of Fabius' generals.  An interesting aspect of the movie is that the heroine is essentially a traitress, although she does not kill anyone as some people have wrongly suggested. Another interesting aspect is that there's no way even audiences of the time could get around the fact that Hannibal and Amytis -- who fears becoming a vestial virgin -- are really shaking up that tent as Hannibal keeps postponing the sacking of Rome to satisfy his lusty appetites!

Verdict: Say what you will, this is an entertaining, colorful, and occasionally sexy MGM romp. ***. 

THREE FOR THE SHOW

Betty Grable

THREE FOR THE SHOW (1955). Director: H. C. Potter.

Stage star Julie Lowndes (Betty Grable) is happily married to choreographer Vernon (Gower Champion), when her first husband, Marty (Jack Lemmon), supposedly killed in action, shows up out of the blue. Speaking to a befuddled Colonel Wharton (Paul Harvey) of the Air Force, she comes to the conclusion that she is legally married to both men, leading to a slightly risque menage a trois situation with the two husbands sharing a bedroom and her sharing them (chastely one assumes). Made in another time period, this might have had some amusing or eyebrow-raising sequences, but this is a fifties musical, and an awfully dull one at that. The performers, including Gower's real-life wife Marge Champion, are adept enough, and the Gowers' dance numbers are elegant and swell, but the other production numbers featuring Grable (and in one case, a male harem) are campy and awful. Grable [Give Me a Sailor] was supposedly 39 but looks older. Gower was 34 but also looks older; Marge was 36 but looks younger. Jack Lemmon [The China Syndrome] was the youngest at only 30 and looks it. Myron McCormick [Jigsaw] plays a producer who seems to have special feelings for Marge. The film was based on an old comedy, Too Many Husbands, that probably should not have been resuscitated. There's only one laugh in the whole movie. This was Jack Lemmon's third film; luckily he survived this stinker to go on to a brilliant career in both drama and comedy. Grable only did one more movie.

Verdict: It seems as if it will never end. *1/2.