THE LOVE MACHINE

John Phillip Law as Robin Stone, the "Love Machine"

THE LOVE MACHINE (1971). Director: Jack Haley Jr.  

Newscaster Robin Stone (John Phillip Law of The Sergeant) attracts the attention of both Network head Greg Austin (Robert Ryan) and his lustful wife, Judith (Dyan Cannon), leading to him getting more than one promotion both on-camera and in the executive suite. Meanwhile Robin beds numerous ladies, including a model named Amanda (Jodi Wexler) and Judith, both of whom become much too possessive. Recognizing that Robin has become too big for his britches and is a threat both to his job and his power, Austin wonders if a morals clause might be one way to get rid of the threat. It's well known that Stone has had many ladies in his bed, but is he also involved with his good friend, the flamboyantly gay photographer and producer Jerry Nelson (David Hemmings of Deep Red)? Judith causes a scene at a Hollywood party that may have them all out on the street. 

Dyan Cannon and Robert Ryan

Robin Stone was originally to be played by Brian Kelly, but just before filming began he was involved in an accident which ended his acting career (although he went on to become a successful producer). John Phillip Law then took over as Stone but was given a very underwritten role to play. Law is handsome and okay in the part, but he lacks that certain charisma, that all-important X Factor, at least in this picture, and Stone remains a bit of a cypher anyway. In the Jacqueline Susann potboiler that this was based on, Stone not only gets involved with Amanda and Judith, but with an actress named Maggie. This character has been reduced to a bit, well-played by Sharon Farrell. Robert Ryan gives the movie a touch of class as Austin, and manages to maintain his dignity. Hemmings is quite good and sharp as Jerry, although he was understandably criticized for perhaps overdoing the swishiness of his performance. (Jerry is neither gay nor a photographer in the book.)  Dyan Cannon, an actress who for some reason always looks as if she should have a mustache, is also good as Judith. 

Jodi Wexler and David Hemmings

Jodi Wexler was introduced in this film, both her first and last screen credit. I did not think her performance was bad, as she was playing a sweet and naive young lady, but Love Machine was a major bomb that didn't do much good for anyone's career. Jackie Cooper makes the most of his role as Danton Miller, the network head of programming. Shecky Greene is a second-rate comedian basically playing a version of himself, and there are good turns from Maureen Arthur as a promiscuous publicity agent and William Roerick as another executive who councils both Austin and his wife. 

Jackie Cooper and David Hemmings

Both the novel and the film adaptation were utterly excoriated by the critics. The odd thing is that the movie isn't truly awful, it's entertaining and has some vivid performances and sequences. There's Judith discovering Robin in the shower with two nubile and busty twins (the Collinsons of Twins of Evil) and setting fire to the bedroom by pouring vodka all over their clothing, and a four-way fight scene between Robin, Judith, Jerry and a boyfriend, Alfie (Clinton Greyn), over a supposedly incriminating inscribed bracelet that Judith thinks will utterly ruin Robin as they all desperately scrabble to get it and slap, pummel and kick anyone who gets in their way. These scenes are deliberately amusing if not hysterical. While the knocks at the TV industry may not rise to the level of Network, the gay material is a bit tiresome, Stone is never sufficiently developed even though he's the main character, and the film just sort of ends abruptly without any major resolution, much of the picture actually plays quite well.  Law, however, was seen to better advantage in Danger:Diabolik. 

Verdict: If you take this in the right spirit and don't expect Citizen Kane, but the book is much better ... ***.