LOUSY NEW MOVIE: KNIVES OUT

The family of Knives Out

KNIVES OUT (2019). Written and directed by Rian Johnson.

Popular author Harlan Thrombey (Christopher Plummer of The Fall of the Roman Empire) is found dead, apparently of a slit throat, the night of his birthday party in his beautiful mansion. His death is initially thought to be a suicide, but his caregiver, Marta (Ana de Armas), may know a lot more than she's saying -- at least at first. A private investigator named Benoit Blanc (Daniel Craig) has been hired -- although he doesn't know by whom -- into investigating Thrombey's death, so he speaks to all of the relatives -- and Marta. Then at the reading of the will, everyone finds out just who Thrombey left his money to and pandemonium ensues.

Daniel Craig as a southern private eye

I'm not at all certain what writer/director Rian Johnson was thinking of when he put together this movie, which is not a witty comedy and certainly not a serious drama or even clever mystery. If he was trying to come up with a master sleuth along the lines of Hercule Poirot with Benoit Blanc, he comes a cropper. Although Daniel Craig [Spectre] does a convincing enough southern accent and gives a good performance, Blanc is a completely one-dimensional and uninteresting detective. If this is an Agatha Christie pastiche, it's a petty poor one. One of the worst elements of the film is that the heroine literally pukes whenever she tells a lie, which is often. This business is not only disgusting but gets tiresome very quickly. Some elements of the plot are mildly clever, but Rian Johnson is certainly no Christie.

Barf Baby: Ana de Armas

What's worse, the film is almost completely devoid of memorable dialogue. Some viewers complained that the movie's politics were too leftist -- some of the family members have conservative views, some don't, but in either case these are mere attempts at characterization, which the film has all too little of -- but I found it ironic and amazing that the African-American cop assigned to the case, Lt. Elliott (LaKeith Stanfield), is both literally and figuratively shunted aside the minute the southern P.I. shows up, having very little to do or say thereafter! This is progressive?

The minute I saw that Jamie Lee Curtis [Halloween] was in the film I feared it would be a stinker, and I was right, although Curtis' performance is actually okay. As the lead character, Ana de Armas is competent but she completely lacks distinction as a performer, at least in this film. However, I was impressed with the performances of Christopher Plummer (seen in flashbacks), Don Johnson, Chris Evans, and Toni Collette [Fright Night], among others, as various members of the Thrombey family. The worst thing I can say about Knives Out, however, is that it's overlong and becomes tedious with only a few spurts of minor excitement along the way. It's easily thirty minutes too long.

Verdict: Puke on this movie and read a great Agatha Christie novel instead. **.