LEGION

LEGION (2009). Director: Scott Charles Stewart.

When an old lady named Gladys (Jeanette Miller) goes nutso in the isolated Paradise Falls diner, it signals the beginning of a battle between mankind and angels, supposedly sent by an angry God to wipe out humanity. Okay -- at least the Devil didn't do it. The archangel Michael (Paul Bettany) tries to help humankind as a furious battle with demonic/angelic creatures ensues. Despite all the alleged horror trappings, this is really just a mediocre action flick with decent special effects, fine photography, and good acting from a cast, including Dennis Quaid and Charles Dutton, that deserves a much better script. Laughably bad for most of its length, the film plays like a burlesque and is simply too stupid to be enjoyable.

Verdict: Watch out for movies with characters named "Jeep." *.